Kelly’s Wonder Years

I was born on June 28th in 1959 in St. Joseph’s Hospital in Orange CA. Everything seemed full of wonder at this point in my life.

Below is a picture of me with my older brother, but this was a little while after I was born…

We lived in Garden Grove CA in a nice one story house on a cul-de-sac. We were just a few miles (as the crow flies) from Disneyland, and we had a big pine tree in our front yard that was quite a bit taller than the roof. My older brother would climb to the top of the pine tree so that he could see the Disneyland fireworks (for free !!) at night.

I remember we had a big rubber tree in the front yard, and that it leaked this white milky sap (weird). At some point, the big rubber tree fell down, and it was BIG. I remember seeing my dad cutting it up into pieces. I was just told it came down because of a big wind storm called a Santa Ana Wind. You can find out more about Santa Ana winds storms here. They still happen a lot in Southern California.

Kelly and Santa

When I got a little older I got to meet Santa. I was a cute kid wasn’t I ? And I had hair then too. Now, not so much…

Kelly’s Favorite Book

Oh and this book about the guy who wouldn’t wash his dishes was one of my favorite books that I wanted my mom to read to me. My mom didn’t get why I liked this book so much, but I guess I thought it was really funny. I’m pretty good about doing the dishes now…

My dad ran for congress in Orange County in 1962 and 1964. (It turns out that he didn’t win either time.) At the time, I had no idea what running for congress meant. I just knew my dad was important. My dad had a campaign poster, and he drove a 1959 Buick Electra. I loved to ride in it. The seats were really cushy. It looked just like in the picture above. I thought the front of it looked like a cat face and I really liked cats. Riding in this car with my dad was special “dad” time.

Kelly and the Watermelon

I was always happy to see my dad come home in his Electra. He worked a lot, so when he came home I was happy. The only specific memory that sticks out being in my dad’s car was when he left me in the back seat (unattended – bad idea !!) with a watermelon on the seat. I discovered that if I pushed the watermelon off the seat onto the floor of the car it made a cool THUMP noise. (I LIKED NOISES !!) So I kept putting it back on the seat and pushing it off the seat. I did that a few times, and then the watermelon split in half !! (oops…)

I don’t remember exactly what my dad did when he got back and saw a split open watermelon, but I’m guessing he wasn’t entirely happy about it. My dad was always a gentle and patient man, so he wouldn’t have yelled at me, but he would have let me know that I did a bad thing. But actually, the watermelon needed to be cut open right ?? So I just did the first step, so it seems logical I shouldn’t have been in TOO much trouble…. I don’t know if that was the thinking of my dad at that time….

Splash Noises

That wasn’t the only time I did a bad thing. I remember one time I was walking home behind my brother and I saw some dirt clods and I decided to throw one over a fence. I heard a splash. I liked the splash noise (again I LIKE NOISES !!). So I threw one more dirt clod, and i heard another splash noise. So I threw several more dirt clods and I loved the splash noise each time. My brother came to see what I was doing, and told me to stop doing that. About this time some man came out from behind the fence, and he was really mad. I guess I was throwing dirt clods into his pool. (oops…my bad) I think he asked who my dad was, and my brother must have told him. Of course my dad was the guy running for congress… I don’t know if this made it into the Orange County Register “Congressional Candidate’s 5 year Old Hooligan Caught Vandalizing Property“. My dad wasn’t happy with me…. I think my dad talked to the man and somehow made things right. I never knew if the man voted for my dad or the other guy.

Here is a picture of my whole family including my oldest brother.

This is my family at the time. I’m the youngest and my brother Corry next up, and my brother Rob is the oldest

4 year old Kelly falls out of a moving car

My next story is something which could have ended very badly: There was a family up the street from us on the cul-de-sac called the “Welch” family. I remember thinking they were nice, and they had their house really nicely decorated every Christmas with LOTS of Christmas lights. Anyway, Mrs. Welch was giving me and her kids a ride home from somewhere. I was in the back seat with 2 of her kids on the passenger side, and there were no seat belts in the back seat. (That was pretty common back then. In fact, LOTS of cars didn’t have seat belts. It’s amazing that any of us lived through those times.) I was on the outside right. In her car, even if the doors were locked, if you pull the handle from the inside, the door will still open. I remember this because of what happened. We were going through an S-Curve. Me and her 2 kids were having fun while she was driving through the S-Curve letting the natural forces move our bodies wherever they would go, and we were going “whooaa!!!” Unfortunately for me, I accidentally pulled the door handle and my body went flying out the door. Not a good thing…. I wasn’t dressed appropriately with leather clothing nor was I wearing a helmet, and another car was following behind us. I think I had on shorts, a t-shirt, and maybe flip-flops. I remember spinning kinda like a helicopter blade on the asphalt eventually coming to rest face down on asphalt. My stomach was the only source of friction to slow down my rate of rotation. Somehow, I knew to hold my face up, so my nose wasn’t ground down to a nub. The only injury I really remember was a pretty significant raspberry on my stomach. I think my T-shirt stayed mostly between the skin on my stomach and the asphalt. It is pretty amazing that I didn’t get turned into a pancake by the car behind us. That woulda hurt…a LOT…

I wondered if her wings really looked like that. I had a big night light on my dresser with this picture.

Avoid falling down concrete steps

So my Guardian Angel saved my butt other times too. I remember my brother and I lived in a 2 story apartment for a while (with upstairs bedrooms). I didn’t understood why we were living there and not in the house on the cul-de-sac. I remember playing “Ghost” with my brother. I was covered with sheets and blankets pretending to be a ghost. (No one was home at the time, and my brother was supposed to be watching me – bad idea !!) So I was wandering around with sheets and blankets on top of me and I had no idea where I was going. I was at the top of a long flight of concrete stairs. (Not a good place to be…) So predictably I fell down the stairs, but I was covered in so many sheets and blankets that I wasn’t hurt, and when I got to the bottom, I thought it was so much fun, I wanted to do it again!! Of course my brother thought I was going to die, and then he would die once my mom came home and discovered my bloodied corpse. (Again…I have a GOOD guardian angel…and I guess my brother did too, because he didn’t die that day either…)

Kelly Takes a Tumble Down Concrete Steps Much Later in Life

Oh, and I did a back flip down some concrete steps much later in life… I don’t recommend that either. Inexplicably, I didn’t get injured. I’m just an idiot who got really lucky…To watch this misadventure, click here.

Five year old Kelly gets stitches...

Oh, and also during that time that we lived in the apartment, the baby sitter took us out to a toy store and I was wearing a red sweater. The toy store had broken jagged glass on a low shelf that I had brushed up against. That tore my right arm open. I remember seeing red stuff dripping down my hand, and I pulled my sweater up and saw this gaping hole in my arm above my elbow. Horrified, I screamed bloody murder. 5 stitches later, I was getting ice cream and new toys! I cried again when I watched the doctor take the stitches out.

My mom talked about putting us kids to sleep

I found out later that my parents had separated for a while because they were fighting because of stress related to him running for congress. My dad told me later that it was good that he didn’t win for congress because he and my mom would have divorced. I remember him and my mom talking and her saying stuff like “maybe we need to lay the kids down and put them to sleep”. I heard her say stuff like this more than once. I’m sure when she said things like this, she thought I was asleep and not in the hallway. At the time I didn’t know why she was saying this, and that she was stressing out about how to pay off the campaign bills, but I knew she was talking about putting us to sleep like sick pets. I don’t remember being traumatized by that, because I didn’t fully comprehend what she was saying. My mom could be over dramatic, and get over whelmed by negative thoughts and depression. Unfortunately, depression has become a life long battle for me. I have my mom’s genes.

Our cat Thomasina

I remember us going to the drive-in to see a Disney movie about a cat named “Thomasina”. My mom was an animal lover and liked cats and so did I. My mom got a girl kitten and I wanted to name her Thomasina after seeing the movie. (My mom used to call her “Thomasina S. Cat” whenever she did something bad.) I think I was 6 then. I know my mom had her spayed and I knew that meant no kittens. I had Thomasina with me until I was 25 when her body was finally just giving out. I was an Electrical Engineering student then at Fresno State then. I cried all day when I had to say goodbye to her, and I couldn’t go to class that day. My college roommate was in most of my same classes and he told the professor I was mourning the loss of my cat. (The professor was Dr. Lao and he laughed a little about that. But he was a very nice Chinese man who spoke with such a thick Chinese accent that most of us could barely understand him. The class was on Radio Frequency antennas, so it was a HARD class. Even though we couldn’t understand his lectures, the textbook was good, so everyone just studied the book, and fortunately his tests were all based on the book. All the homework came from the book also. I managed a B in the class and I felt pretty good about that.)

This 1959 Corvette looks just like the one my oldest brother Rob had. He gave me a ride in it a few times and he freaked me out by driving way faster than my 5 year old brain was comfortable with.

Rob had this corvette, and he didn’t always use the best judgment while driving it. (…Red corvette…teenager…good judgment ??!!…not likely..) My dad told me much later that Rob had a cap gun in his corvette and he drove by a cop who was giving someone a ticket. (More below on Rob and his obsession with Westerns and guns.) My brother Rob thought it would be good idea to fire his cap gun at the cop. SURE !!👍 For those of you who don’t know what a cap gun is you can find an explanation here. It was a very popular toy gun that makes a “crack !” noise. You can still buy them. Cap guns were fun to play cops and robbers with, and they looked pretty real. (I had one.)

HOWEVER… consider being a cop and someone points a gun at you and you hear a “crack” noise !! That cop at first didn’t know it was a cap gun, and he took off immediately after Rob, and you can imagine what kind of trouble Rob was in. My dad had to bail Rob’s a** out of jail and get his car out of impound. My dad sweet talked the cop out of filing charges against him. I think my dad was well thought of by the cop because my dad was kinda prominent and well liked in the Orange County area for many years. But my dad and the cop agreed that my brother Rob was a total and complete idiot, and my brother had to be grounded (probably until he was 40). Of course Rob was made well aware of just what an idiot he was, and ate a whole lot of Humble Pie, but at least he didn’t die that day…

Rob and Western TV Shows

Rob grew up watching all the western TV shows that were really popular in the 50s. When he was a little kid, he would always wear a cowboy hat and wear a holster with a toy gun in it. When he got older, he had a REAL gun (I think it was a western style six shooter – but I don’t know much about guns, just not my thing). At some point, I remember that he was out with a buddy somewhere shooting his gun and he managed to shoot himself in the leg. He told me later that it happened when he put his gun into his holster. Lucky for him, the bullet went straight through muscle, never hitting bone. I remember seeing blood on the side of his buddy’s car door. (Oh Rob…) So I saw him on crutches for a while, with his leg wrapped up…

Rob and Bicycles

Rob was really into bicycle racing. He won quite a few trophies. He later told me that he would get up at o-dark-early and ride a hundred miles before breakfast. (That’s exactly what I would wanna do.) He also worked at a Schwinn bike shop then, and for Christmas when I was 6 (after I learned how to ride a bike with training wheels), he built me a candy apple sting ray out of spare parts from his bike shop with a sparkly banana seat, high rise handle bars, and everything. Even though it was from spare parts, he polished it up like it was new for me, and it was just like a new bike, and I was SO EXCITED. I LOVED that bike. I continued to ride that bike until I was 13 when I bought myself a Schwinn 10 speed for $110.

My brother Rob and Vietnam

In the midst of all of this, the Vietnam war was going on. My brother was in college freshman year, and the draft was going on. My parents told my brother not to drop out of college or his draft number would come closer to the top for the draft. But, my brother never listened to my parents. For example, when my brother was in high school, my parents had put him into Catholic high school, and he absolutely hated it with a passion. He was determined to do anything to get out. He got himself in trouble many times in an effort to get expelled, but the clincher was when he put an M80 under a toilet seat in the boys bathroom, and lit it. It made what he called a “very satisfying noise” that was heard throughout the campus. It permanently removed the toilet seat from the porcelain leaving the porcelain base in a very bad state. The high school principal was furious and demanded to know who was responsible. My brother PROUDLY said that he did it and provided all the evidence to prove it. To Rob’s delight, that got him permanently expelled. This left my parents no choice but to put him into public high school.

Anyway my brother dropped out of college despite my parents pleas to the contrary, and sure enough he was drafted into the army in 1966 for 3 years. He spent a year in the states, and went to Vietnam in 1967 for a year, and then spent another year in 1968 in the states. I didn’t understand much about Vietnam at the time. I know I saw a picture of him at the time that he found out that he was being sent to Vietnam, and he looked very scared. My parents were freaked out. I didn’t comprehend it at the time. I do now of course.

I remember that my parents talked to him on the phone when he was in Vietnam. The only way that was possible back then was by 2 way radio patched into the phone system. My parents got a phone call from someone who explained that Rob was waiting in Vietnam to talk to them, and how it would work. Each time my mom or dad wanted to say something to Rob, they needed to finish their last sentence by saying “Over”. This told the radio operator to switch the 2 way radio from receiving mode to then holding the microphone so that Rob could speak into the microphone on the 2 way radio. Then my parents could hear what Rob would say, and then would finish his last sentence with “over”. and this went back and forth. The phone call was REALLY expensive, so the phone call lasted only a few minutes.

Later on, at the age of 63 (in 2008), Rob died of prostate cancer. Rob was convinced that his time in Vietnam and being exposed to Agent Orange was why he contracted prostate cancer.

Rob and I get to know each other…

Two years before Rob died of prostate cancer, Rob and I were just really getting to know each other. Rob lived in Bailey Colorado at 12,000 feet in a totally cool cabin. His cabin was like a museum. He never grew out of his obsession with the old West. Rob told me that he was born in the wrong century. Instead of being born in 1944, he wished he was born in 1844, so he could have been in the Old West living in Arizona and Colorado and Wyoming living off the land hunting. He owned many original firearms that were manufactured in the 1870s that are collector items. He had authentic western garb. He would go hunting with buddies, riding in on horseback, bringing in all their supplies, set up camp, and shoot a deer or two and and slaughter them exactly as they did in the 1870s in their camp. They would pack up the meat, and bring back the fur and deer head. He had deer meat packed up in his freezer, and he had a couple deer heads mounted on his wall. He did all this legally, and was a big lover of the environment.

Rob also participated in Single Action Shooting Society (SASS) events in Colorado, SASS events are for Old West enthusiasts who dress up in authentic Old West garb and act out Old West shootouts in specially constructed sets of old Western towns complete with saloons, sheriff’s office, jails, hotels, etc. It’s kinda like individual scenes are played out and the people have real bullets, but they point at targets inside the buildings (NEVER each other) and safety is job number 1. It’s basically shooting practice and everyone brings their own authentic Western era firearms. No firearm is discharged until it is first inspected for safety (correct operation, and good ammunition) and no accidents have occurred to date. They have SASS events all over the country.

Rob didn’t tell me a lot about Vietnam, except to tell me that his combat job was to be the gunner on helicopter rescue missions. This meant that he was on several helicopters flying into enemy territory to rescue trapped soldiers fighting on the American side. He was placed at the helicopter’s partially open side door with a powerful machine gun, and would be on the lookout for any enemy fire, and take them out, as they were trying to land to pick up trapped soldiers. He said the helicopter he was on was on was shot down three times, and then he was one of the people that needed to be rescued. Many people who did what he did never made it back alive.

I watched a few episodes of Ken Burns’ documentary about Vietnam after my brother Rob passed away. I wanted to understand more of what Rob went through and the circumstances of the war. There are many people still living who were interviewed who gave their recollections. There was lots of video and pictures, and the unspeakable horror and tragedy that was depicted was just too much for me to watch any more. It’s no surprise that so many Vietnam veterans came back with permanent emotional and psychological scars.

My Dad Paid back all his Campaign Debts

After the two congressional elections in 1962 and 1964 in Orange County, my dad had run up a lot of debt. A lot of people would have declared bankruptcy, but my dad had borrowed money from a lot of people who really believed in him, and he thought it was wrong to not pay them back. He didn’t know how he was going to pay all the money back but he promised everyone that he WOULD, and he DID. And my dad was the most honorable man I have ever known. His word was as good as a legally binding contract.

For my dad to pay back his campaign debts, my dad had the opportunity to work for a man he knew in Washington DC, who was a congressman. My dad worked as the congressman’s administrative assistant. So my dad moved to Washington DC, and my mom stayed in Garden Grove working full time until my dad could make enough money to find a place in Virginia for us to live and come back to bring us to Virginia. My mom had to leave us with a babysitter (Mrs. Day who was very nice and wore cat eye glasses) while she worked during the day. My mom was kinda freaked out being alone with no man in the house at night.

Kelly and Mom’s Gun

One night I got up to use the bathroom, and I guess I wandered around the house and my mom thought I was a burglar. My mom had my dad’s gun, and she got it in her hand, and she called the cops. My older brother tried to tell my mom it was just me. I just want back to bed, I saw my mom with a flashlight and a gun in her hand, and I don’t think I even knew what the gun was, and I didn’t understand why my mom was so upset. I might have had a very short life.

Our dog Trooper comes to the Rescue

So after that, my mom decided to get a dog (Good choice mom !) of course we all watched “Lassie” on TV, and she brought home a 7 year old male Collie named “Trooper” from the pound. Trooper looked just like Lassie to me. We all loved Trooper. He was just a loving dog, but if he sensed anyone threatening us, he was very protective. He was just what we needed. Thomasina the cat hated him of course, but Trooper never tried to hurt her.

My grandparents

I never knew any of my grandparents because they all died before I was old enough to remember any of them. When my parents got married my mom was 18 and my dad was 29, but they got married in 1942. Rob was born in 1944. My brother Corry came along in 1954, and then I was born in 1959. So my grandparents were pretty old or passed away by the time I was born. I only remember my grandmother on my mom’s side, and I remember that she was always very serious. I don’t really remember ever talking to her. I heard a few times that “children are meant to be seen and not heard”. I think my mom said that a few times, and I don’t know if she said that around my grandma to make her happy, or if she really thought that then. Hearing that didn’t exactly encourage me to be an outgoing kid. I definitely wasn’t going to misbehave around my mom.

The Creepy Crawlers kit came with bottles of liquid rubber like stuff. It had molds that you would pour the stuff into. You had all kinds of molds for different kinds of bugs and spiders, and worms, etc. After your chosen mold has the stuff poured in, you put the mold onto the hot plate (shown on the left), and let it cook a while. (The stuff stunk when it was cooking, and if you poured it accidentally on the hot plate outside of the mold, it REALLY stunk.) Then you take the mold out and let it cool a while. Then you pull the rubber bugs out with the tweezers. “Creepy Crawlers” were definitely a thing back then.

The Donut Man !!

Also, there was the donut man who came to the neighborhood in the truck that sold donuts.

When he drove into the neighborhood, he had a very loud horn that he would honk to let us kids know that he had arrived. We didn’t always have money to buy donuts, but sometimes some of the other parents gave their kids money to share to buy donuts for the rest of us. The truck looked just like in the picture below.

As it turns out, now I’m the donut man for our Catholic parish on Sunday Mornings. Everybody loves me.

Kelly almost drowns. Well…that’s what I thought at the time…

Across the street from us, there lived a boy that I played with. I was afraid of his dad because I thought he was mean. I think now that he wasn’t really mean but he was rough around the edges. In their back yard they had one of those above ground pools. I was invited to come into their back yard, but I didn’t know how to swim. The pool was probably 4 feet deep which was definitely deeper than I was tall. I was afraid to go near the pool. His dad decided to just throw me into the pool. He probably just figured I would learn how to swim and I would have fun and all would be good. Well, in my opinion, it WAS NOT good. I went into the pool and I and I remember seeing bubbles underwater and I was SURE that was going to be the last thing I would EVER SEE EVER AGAIN and didn’t know how to get above water. Somehow I DID get above water long enough to scream bloody murder and to bawl hysterically. That was the end of THAT play date.

Kelly’s 7th Birthday Party

Since my birthday is in the summer (June 28), I never got to celebrate my birthday with my friends at school. But on my 7th birthday I was allowed to invite several of my friends from school over to have a party at our house. Unfortunately, on the morning of my birthday, I had a serious headache and fever, and my mom wouldn’t let me be outside for my own party, but at least she didn’t cancel the party. All my friends still came over. So all my friends came over to our back yard, and I watched my own birthday party from the window of my bedroom. They all seemed to be having a great time eating MY birthday cake and ice cream without ME. They said hi to me in my window. I cried. Not my best birthday ever. On the bright side, my friends brought over pretty nice presents. I remember one in particular that was a cool racing sloop sail boat that I liked to play with in the bath tub.

Thomasina and Snail Poison

In our backyard, we had lots of snails, and my mom didn’t like them. She put Snairol snail poison out around the bushes, and it was poisonous to cats. Thomasina was supposed to be an indoor cat. Thomasina got outside, and somehow my mom said it was my fault. My mom said that if I didn’t find Thomasina soon, she would die because she would eat the snail poison. I wasn’t able to find her for quite a while. And then my mom told me that Thomasina was dead. I cried and cried. Later Thomasina came inside and she was fine. My mom was not intentionally cruel, but she went to extremes of behavior sometimes that could be damaging to those around her.

Gilbert Elementary School

For Kindergarten and 1st Grade I went to Gilbert Elementary which was really close to our house. I remember we had a record player in Kindergarten that we got to put records on to listen to music. I especially remember the song “Blow ! Blow! Blow the man down!” I never had a clue what the song was about, but I liked to play that record a lot. We had what I remember as a really huge playground. I also remember that someone made a paper mache giraffe that kids could ride on. There were wheels on the legs. I remember it being really tall. (When you’re in Kindergarten, everything seems tall, and big.) and kids could ride on the giraffe’s back. I remember a girl being on the giraffe’s back while someone (probably a parent) pushed her on the giraffe. The front wheels on the giraffe got stuck and the girl on the giraffe did a face plant. I remember that she wasn’t happy about that.

In 1st grade I remember that the teacher would tell us take a nap by putting our heads down on the desk, and we would put our thumbs in the air, and when the teacher came around and touched our thumb, your were allowed to sit up. I think this was called 7up, and I have no idea why. I’m assuming it was a way to give the teacher a rest from us 1st graders driving her nuts…

St. Colomban Catholic School

In 2nd grade, my parents put me into St. Colomban Catholic School that was part of St. Colomban Catholic Church in Garden Grove, CA. My teacher was Sister Cora. I remember thinking that she was kinda strict, but generally nice. My mom packed our lunches except on Tuesdays and Thursdays, because on Tuesdays the school served us hot dogs and on Thursdays the school served us hamburgers. I loved those days. We got to play kick ball at recess. My brother had Mrs. Ciebert in 8th grade, and my brother thought she was very strict and mean. That seemed to be the general consensus among the students. I saw her once, and she had a pockmarked face. I figured that was why she was always mad.

I did my First Confession at St Comomban’s there standing in line with my classmates and my First Communion. I remember being in a procession with my 2nd grade classmates on a Sunday wearing an all white suit and coming up to a special kneeler (there were 2 kneelers side by side). I don’t remember if the boys and girls did it together on the same Sunday, or on different Sundays. I remember that I wore an all white suit, and I got a missal and a rosary with beads made from cocoa beans. I still have the rosary. The links are broken and the beads are broken too.

The most powerful memory of being in church there was NOT a religious experience exactly. It was when 3 of my class mates put one of the kneelers on top of my foot and knelt on it before I could move my foot I was trying to be silent like a good Catholic boy, but trying to get their attention to get off the pew so I could get my foot out from under the pew. Eventually I got their attention, but wow did that hurt…

Time to Move to Virginia

In August after I turned 7, my dad came back from Washington DC to bring our family to Virginia to live. He bought a 1965 Chrysler New Yorker Station Wagon. So it was my dad, my mom, my brother Corry, and me, our dog Trooper, and our cat Thomasina on a 6 day journey to Arlington Virginia. I will resume my story with our cross country trip in my next post.